Tue, 7 April 2009 Please forgive me as I go off on a bit of a rant today. I was in that kind of mood. But if you can put up with my negativity for a while, you'll get to hear the first Imaginary Friends segment, featuring my lovely lady. I like the part where she kind of scolds me. Comments[4] |
Great episode, Weathereye. I think Mrs. W made some good points and it was great to hear from her as it concretes one more aspect of someone I consider to be one of my imaginary friends. Hope to hear much more from her and yourself on this front. She is right though, get out there and meet people. There is a level of interaction that is missing from online friendships.
I disagree that it is "unhealthy" but I mean on a psychological level. The same chemical reactions occur when you're talking with an imaginary friend as it does when speaking to a flesh and blood individual in front of you. This is especially true when your conversation is immediate such as you have with the Starbase and guest spots. Goofs and mistakes and explanations are regular parts of being human and sharing your viewpoint, and that's something that is lacking from many forum based friendships.
(Now for a bit of chiding) Certainly it is unhealthy to sit in front of a monitor all day and not get out and exercise. Given the sheer amount of snow you've had lately I can't blame you at all for staying in but I've seen how active you and yours are when the opportunity arises and I don't think physical health is that big an issue. Now, you mentioned earlier that you had some health issues when you were talking about the doctors offices so there may be something there that would necessitate increased activity and interaction with others and I would once again encourage you to make a connection with someone you could go out with, have a night a week with, or something of the nature. Take the good lady out on the town dancing or to a friendly (and not emphasizing competitive)street hockey game where you could converse and in get some physical interaction as well. That should make the both of you happy. (Sorry, I know I'm really butting in here. It's just that hearing her concerns, I feel they are noteworthy and reveal a piece of your puzzle I hadn't been aware of before.)
I think we live in a sad state of affairs when many "real" friendships are far more superficial and little more than a facade of friendship than we realize. Too many interactions consist of simple pleasantries with little actual regard for the response of "How are you?" "Oh, fine, and yourself?" People get stuck in these predictable questions and answers too often and it usually devolves into discussion about the same 2 or 3 topics as usual. There is a genuineness to this online friendship that I feel is lacking from everyday life. Maybe it's that you really take time to think about what it is you're typing and the message you're conveying, maybe it's something new and different, maybe your personality shines through when you're speaking form the heart, and maybe it's specific to the community you visit.
Most forums have a reputation of being flame fests or places to spout off how superior your tastes are to others, and a place that encourages genuine discussion as opposed to trite or vapid monologues is an oasis in a vast desert.
Anyway, the point of this long and intruding ramble is to illustrate how deep an imaginary friendship can actually be. There's camaraderie, trust, affection, and concern for someone you've never met. I hope I haven't offended either you or the Mrs. with this and that for once I've actually made a point that can be followed and not some horrible fragmentation of thoughts. With much regard, I.F. Joseph.
I disagree that it is "unhealthy" but I mean on a psychological level. The same chemical reactions occur when you're talking with an imaginary friend as it does when speaking to a flesh and blood individual in front of you. This is especially true when your conversation is immediate such as you have with the Starbase and guest spots. Goofs and mistakes and explanations are regular parts of being human and sharing your viewpoint, and that's something that is lacking from many forum based friendships.
(Now for a bit of chiding) Certainly it is unhealthy to sit in front of a monitor all day and not get out and exercise. Given the sheer amount of snow you've had lately I can't blame you at all for staying in but I've seen how active you and yours are when the opportunity arises and I don't think physical health is that big an issue. Now, you mentioned earlier that you had some health issues when you were talking about the doctors offices so there may be something there that would necessitate increased activity and interaction with others and I would once again encourage you to make a connection with someone you could go out with, have a night a week with, or something of the nature. Take the good lady out on the town dancing or to a friendly (and not emphasizing competitive)street hockey game where you could converse and in get some physical interaction as well. That should make the both of you happy. (Sorry, I know I'm really butting in here. It's just that hearing her concerns, I feel they are noteworthy and reveal a piece of your puzzle I hadn't been aware of before.)
I think we live in a sad state of affairs when many "real" friendships are far more superficial and little more than a facade of friendship than we realize. Too many interactions consist of simple pleasantries with little actual regard for the response of "How are you?" "Oh, fine, and yourself?" People get stuck in these predictable questions and answers too often and it usually devolves into discussion about the same 2 or 3 topics as usual. There is a genuineness to this online friendship that I feel is lacking from everyday life. Maybe it's that you really take time to think about what it is you're typing and the message you're conveying, maybe it's something new and different, maybe your personality shines through when you're speaking form the heart, and maybe it's specific to the community you visit.
Most forums have a reputation of being flame fests or places to spout off how superior your tastes are to others, and a place that encourages genuine discussion as opposed to trite or vapid monologues is an oasis in a vast desert.
Anyway, the point of this long and intruding ramble is to illustrate how deep an imaginary friendship can actually be. There's camaraderie, trust, affection, and concern for someone you've never met. I hope I haven't offended either you or the Mrs. with this and that for once I've actually made a point that can be followed and not some horrible fragmentation of thoughts. With much regard, I.F. Joseph.
Wow, I'm not even finished with the episode yet and I feel the need to comment! Although I probably should wait till tomorrow morning when my thoughts are...less random let's say ;-)
Your comments on libraries and newspapers really struck a chord with me. I would like to go back to school one day and become a librarian, since like you, they've been a huge part of my life. To hear how libraries have changed, even if it is just yours, breaks my heart. But it actually wants me to become a librarian more, because those people who were treating their job as a joke insult me, even though that's not what I am yet. I hope this doesn't happen to all libraries...cause if it does I may have to rethink my career change...
And as for newspapers...the idea that they are not going to be edited the way they were and die out saddens me a great deal. I've never worked in a newspaper before, even a school one, but I did decide to write my thesis with newspapers as my main source. It was a great risk and meant I had to go through many different newspapers, but they were a viable source. With what you are saying they are no longer going to be a viable source for people. Blogs are fun. I love many, but like you said, they are not the news. And it saddens me that they are not going to be same as they were...if this makes sense...I hope it does...
And yeah for hearing the woman who...well kinda coined "imaginary friends"! And I would help you anyway I could including send money if you need it...and I need to stop listening while I write this comment or this may keep going on and on...
Your comments on libraries and newspapers really struck a chord with me. I would like to go back to school one day and become a librarian, since like you, they've been a huge part of my life. To hear how libraries have changed, even if it is just yours, breaks my heart. But it actually wants me to become a librarian more, because those people who were treating their job as a joke insult me, even though that's not what I am yet. I hope this doesn't happen to all libraries...cause if it does I may have to rethink my career change...
And as for newspapers...the idea that they are not going to be edited the way they were and die out saddens me a great deal. I've never worked in a newspaper before, even a school one, but I did decide to write my thesis with newspapers as my main source. It was a great risk and meant I had to go through many different newspapers, but they were a viable source. With what you are saying they are no longer going to be a viable source for people. Blogs are fun. I love many, but like you said, they are not the news. And it saddens me that they are not going to be same as they were...if this makes sense...I hope it does...
And yeah for hearing the woman who...well kinda coined "imaginary friends"! And I would help you anyway I could including send money if you need it...and I need to stop listening while I write this comment or this may keep going on and on...
posted by: Sydney on Wed, 4/8 09:01 AM EDT
The libraries here are still libraries. I hope they don't go the route yours did. That sounds absolutely absurd. I have encountered some pretty surly librarians as my local branch though. Generally, the job seems to attract people who are barely socially functional. I'm okay with that. I even get a kick out of the woman who where's rubber gloves and makes me place the books on the counter and slowly slide them towards her. Apparently no part of my body can come within 12 inches of hers.
Thank god I get to be a "real" friend. Whew. I think Elizabeth has some completely valid points. Personally, I don't like looking people in the eye or touching them. So I enjoy the idea of not having to be in the same physical space as people yet still having my socializing tube filled up. I'm not so different from the librarian I mentioned.
I would also say that most of the real-life friends I have in Toronto wouldn't help me out if I were in need. Maybe if I cornered them, they would. But generally I sense my imaginary friends would have my back first. Elizabeth would probably say that my Toronto friends are not real friends in that case. I'd agree with her. In fact, having such supportive imaginary friends has soured things (subconsciously at first) with a lot of my real-life relationships. I'd say begin in the same physical space as a "friend" doesn't guarantee true friendship either. I think of my best imaginary friends like real-life friends who live far away and I might never see again but I still maintain a friendship with online. Overtime, they become imaginary too.
Ultimately, I think it's apples and oranges. There's a level of friendship not achievable purely online, but you can also get to know people pretty well. I have a pretty good sense (after a year or more) of who I wouldn't get along with in person and who could be a true real-life friend.
I've gone out and met people in this city. But due to my interests, I find most of those people douchebags. If I have to be friends with douchebags, I'd rather they be imaginary.
Thank god I get to be a "real" friend. Whew. I think Elizabeth has some completely valid points. Personally, I don't like looking people in the eye or touching them. So I enjoy the idea of not having to be in the same physical space as people yet still having my socializing tube filled up. I'm not so different from the librarian I mentioned.
I would also say that most of the real-life friends I have in Toronto wouldn't help me out if I were in need. Maybe if I cornered them, they would. But generally I sense my imaginary friends would have my back first. Elizabeth would probably say that my Toronto friends are not real friends in that case. I'd agree with her. In fact, having such supportive imaginary friends has soured things (subconsciously at first) with a lot of my real-life relationships. I'd say begin in the same physical space as a "friend" doesn't guarantee true friendship either. I think of my best imaginary friends like real-life friends who live far away and I might never see again but I still maintain a friendship with online. Overtime, they become imaginary too.
Ultimately, I think it's apples and oranges. There's a level of friendship not achievable purely online, but you can also get to know people pretty well. I have a pretty good sense (after a year or more) of who I wouldn't get along with in person and who could be a true real-life friend.
I've gone out and met people in this city. But due to my interests, I find most of those people douchebags. If I have to be friends with douchebags, I'd rather they be imaginary.
posted by: Jakob on Wed, 4/8 11:57 AM EDT
At times, I have referred to myself as a "creature from another planet." Part of that is just the Star Trek influence. I think there is more. I don't consistently feel like the people I interact with directly "get" me. That seems consistent with Jakob's comment as well.
For Star Trek, I prefer TOS without apology. For film, I'd rather see the best other countries offer than another blockbuster from here in the USA. For music, it didn't feel like my Zune had the right mix until I loaded the 7,000th song; I'm that committed to variety.
Isn't it natural to think that this combination of tastes is more likely to find friends with common interests online than next-door?
As for work background, I started my adult-career as a newspaper editor. Listening to some of your podcasts really drives home some memories.
And, my family has tended to live in that 100,000 population city an hour away from too-big metro areas.
Maybe it's enough to say that I understand where you are coming from. I don't often meet people on the street who can say the same about me.
Real or imaginary?
Based on the coincidence of travel plans, and a sense of connection with the Starbase66 crew, I believe I'm going to get the chance to meet both Karen and Rick this year. As I've heard the British say ... 'citin'!
Work takes me to Washington, D.C., this month, and the schedule starts out very open.
Summer will include some holiday time in Orlando and hopefully Tampa/St. Pete in Florida.
The question I cannot answer: will meeting Karen and Rick transform them from imaginary into real? Or will it be something more subtle and temporary, like a transfiguration across possible worlds?
-GAB
For Star Trek, I prefer TOS without apology. For film, I'd rather see the best other countries offer than another blockbuster from here in the USA. For music, it didn't feel like my Zune had the right mix until I loaded the 7,000th song; I'm that committed to variety.
Isn't it natural to think that this combination of tastes is more likely to find friends with common interests online than next-door?
As for work background, I started my adult-career as a newspaper editor. Listening to some of your podcasts really drives home some memories.
And, my family has tended to live in that 100,000 population city an hour away from too-big metro areas.
Maybe it's enough to say that I understand where you are coming from. I don't often meet people on the street who can say the same about me.
Real or imaginary?
Based on the coincidence of travel plans, and a sense of connection with the Starbase66 crew, I believe I'm going to get the chance to meet both Karen and Rick this year. As I've heard the British say ... 'citin'!
Work takes me to Washington, D.C., this month, and the schedule starts out very open.
Summer will include some holiday time in Orlando and hopefully Tampa/St. Pete in Florida.
The question I cannot answer: will meeting Karen and Rick transform them from imaginary into real? Or will it be something more subtle and temporary, like a transfiguration across possible worlds?
-GAB
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